New paper straws


As a follow-up to last week’s front page article concerning Halloween at The University, I would like to report on a topic perhaps even spookier — the recent emergence of paper straws at the Montrone cafeteria.
This semester began as normally as any; the typical plastic straws seemed like just another facet of relatively consistent student life at The University. However, with the introduction of the new, emerald-and-white straws at Montrone (henceforth, “green-stripers”), both the dining habits and, perhaps hyperbolically, the mood of the student body have taken a noticeable turn.
Students’ responses to the straws have been divisive, at best. Stephanie Bennett, a junior, has been in favor of the green-stripers since their fateful arrival.
“A dining experience should be the perfect combination of taste and aesthetic appeal — the straws provide this to Mulberry patrons,” Bennett said.
Bennett illustrates an interesting point about our collective University dining experience — that it can never suffer from augmentation of “aesthetic appeal.” Additionally, Bennett considers the whimsy of the green-stripers an irreplaceable asset.
In addition, the matériel of the straws is a firm pressed-paper covered lightly in wax. One absolute advantage over the outdated plastic straws — they are biodegradable.
“When you decide to murder Mother Earth by throwing away your plastic straws, I won’t judge your poor life choices,” Bennett said. “But Al Gore is pretty irate.”
On the other side of the coin, some students feel that the green-stripers may be the worst choice made by the eatery. They reference, among other issues, the inherent paper-ness of the drinking devices. Chief among the concerns lies the “potential sogginess” of the tops of the green-stripers, junior Julianna Sacco said.
“Plus, it just seems that whenever they get moist, they just lose their shape,” Sacco said.
Sacco added that biodegradability should not factor into the adoption of new straws. She stresses that the purity of the plastic straws must remain in order to adequately carry on the dining tradition at The University.
I need not say more than this — the chasm between pro-stripers and anti-stripers is growing. If we as a student body cannot remain united on an issue of this magnitude, how can we expect to move forward together on less important areas of contention?

Contact the writer:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *